Hope

I've been having thoughts. What is hope? Not hope according to the traditional definition, but my definition or interpretation of hope.

Hope is when you're given freedom to try and fail.
Hope is when people tell you that you can't succeed and you go ahead and do it anyway.
Hope is absent when you give into your fears.
Hope is destroyed when people restrict your choices and desires.
If we let hope die, the world will die with it.
If you can't find hope, go to the Man who created hope and ask for more.
He'll give you some, I guarantee it.
Hope is that feeling in your chest when you don't know if that person will respond kindly to you, but you try anyway because if you never do it, how will you ever know?
Hope can exist within other things and other feelings can be sprung out of hope.

Hope can bring about honesty.
I am hoping that by being honest the people I need will eventually come into my life
I'm not always honest, but when I am honest with myself, I am filled the Joy because God has given me the strength to hope.

I hope that people will still see me as a real person even though I fear and have my own set of issues.
I hope that people can understand me even though words like fuck, shit, and ass sometimes flow through my vocabulary.
I hope that people will care enough to get to know me as I care to get to know them.
I hope that even though I question God that He will lead me.
And I hope that I will find similar people to join me along the way.
I hope that someday things make more sense than they do.
I hope someday slavery will no longer exist and poverty will perish.
I hope that I am the person to step up and end these and many other injustices.
I hope that someday when I write music that people will like my music not because it was written for them, but written to myself in a quiet place and it reminds them of their quiet place.
I hope that someday the "mistakes" I made will not be viewed as such, but as failed "triumphs."
I hope that this will give someone hope and that they can pass on hope to more people.
I hope for hope.
I hope for salvation.
I hope for God to come.
I hope for Faith.
I hope for Resurrection.
I hope for genuine hearts to be my friends.
I have strength.
I have Hope.
I have Faith.
I have Love.
I have conviction.
God, give me faith.
God, give me hope.
God, give me love.

Quick thoughts on dreams and aspirations.

I love the idea of being with someone. It kind of kills me sometimes because I love being single, but just the thought of someone else appreciating me as much as someone like my mother or sister does murders me inside. And by murder I mean that I become a different person. Regardless of how sad I can be, how depressed I am, these things bring me joy.

I’m trying to imagine what it’s like to have a person, who I am deeply attracted to, want to spend time with me and even enjoys my oddities and nuances that makes myself me. I’m a sap. I listen to music and try to enjoy every bit of it. I enjoy both the classiest of music to the rawest forms of the art. Classical to Folk, Pop rock to gangsta rap. I love smiling and asking questions. I love reading when I can, but I can never get up the patience to do it. I adore poetry and I used to think I was a fairly creative person, but then I started reading some Robert Frost and Leonard Cohen and I immediately shut up. Bringing me back to the topic of a SO. Can I really find someone who enjoys this about me? Someone who enjoys that I love thinking and having deep conversation. A being who is willing to put up with my teasing and can challenge me academically and help me become a better person. Someone who understands that I’m not the most confident being, but I will be when I have to be. Can I locate another human being who would write poetry to me and with me? Erotic, vivid, addictive poetry.  Can she say words that will make me tremble like no other? Will she be able to speak to the core of my heart like the Great Cohen and Frost have done so recently? I need words and I need time. I’m a needy individual, but still independent. Is this at all possible? Am I waiting until I find the person  that I describe here or do I use it as a way to keep myself from becoming to close to someone that could potentially hurt me.

Another question is if I post this on the interwebz, will it make much sense to anybody? If I don’t check over for grammar, how will my original draft look? Will people be confused? Would SHE be confused? Or offended? Will some of my innocent thoughts be taken the wrong way, or my wording seem to liberal? Being a creative writer as I am, not everything I say should be taken so liberal. If you find anything dirty in this, I guarantee you that it’s exactly the opposite.

Call me thirsty because it’s probably true. But I could really care less in the end.

Stating Your Opinion.

I sometimes forget that this blog exists.

If you know me, you should know that I love stating my opinion about everything. I try to keep quiet though when I believe it's out of my place to say so, but in any good and respectful conversation I love being able to go in-depth about my opinion and also listen intently to other people's views. This is one of my favorite types of conversations and getting to know people. I like to bring up a variety of subjects when I look for conversation; gay marriage, smoking, abortion, religion, and musical tastes can all be great conversations in my humble opinion. But there is something that bothers me much of the time when people express their opinion in conversation, or specifically on the internet: an unwillingness to see the same issue or topic from a different perspective.

An extreme case could look something like this: an individual states something that they believe to be true on facebook, maybe they believe it to be informative or comedic, but it could be considered controversial just because of the nature of the topic. Now I don't believe for a second that this observation being stated was a morally wrong thing to state publicly, everyone is entitled to their opinion. But when someone states something of this nature they must be prepared for potential backlash or at the least, friendly disagreements on the matter. Stop getting offended if someone disagrees with you. If you are not prepared to deal with the discussion, stop stating your opinion. I am weary of all the entitled individuals who are ignorant of the fact that people don't have to agree with each view they have on any given subject. If you are not prepared or willing to dive into the discussion on a deeper level, don't even start.

But then again, this is my opinion. Tell me I'm wrong.

-loggieduvs

So...

It's interesting to see what I am going to write about each time I decide to exercise my writing skills. Well, I figured this one out. How did I get a substantial amount of views from a different country? Literally none of my views on my blog from the past few days have been from the US. Strange...

Bored. How About Another Blog!

Nothing to do at 7 in the morning but type whatever comes to my mind. I have a few goals for today, but I haven't decided what they are going to be. I guess I should start simple.

1. Go to church- This one is pretty easy because I have to play this morning anyway.

2. Don't eat peanut butter and jelly for lunch- Maybe I should attempt to eat something healthy like a salad...

3. Sit down and pray- Get off the games, forget about all the crap that is going on, relax.

4. Write a song- It doesn't have to be that good, just make it feelsy.

5. Blog- Done.